People dine out for various reasons, including celebrating special days, business meetings, date nights, socialising, or taking a break from cooking and cleaning up. Whether you dine out regularly or on special occasions, everyone wants a great experience.
However, your experience can be affected by poor etiquette, some personal preferences, and how you treat your server. You may be surprised that even some polite gestures might irritate your server.
We want you to enjoy your dining out experience. So, we are sharing 10 things people do that could irritate their server.
Seat yourself: Most fine dining restaurants have a specific system that seats customers in particular sections to ensure the restaurant runs smoothly. If the hostess is busy, you might think sitting yourself is helpful, but you could make their job more difficult. If the host is busy when you arrive, wait a few minutes before signalling someone for attention.
Refusing to listen to the specials: Don’t interrupt or dismiss the server’s effort to share the specials with you. If you already know the dish you wish to try, you might think interrupting the server to tell them what you want saves time and effort. However, they might find your interruption impolite, especially if other guests are dining with you and want to hear about the specials.
Talking too much to the server: Many servers appreciate friendly banter with restaurant guests. However, if a restaurant is busy, you should avoid trying to keep your server’s attention for too long. There are other guests that they need to attend to, and they may become annoyed if your server spends too much time talking to you. Being polite and asking a few questions about the menu are acceptable. Just don’t overdo it with small talk.
Switching tables: If you have concerns about your table, speak to the host or hostess and politely ask to be seated elsewhere. It would help to let them know your concerns before you are placed instead of moving to another unoccupied table. Remember, most restaurants have seating plans that the host uses to ensure things flow well. If you get up and sit at another table, you could throw things off for the restaurant staff.
Ordering from another server: Although you might think it’s polite to order more food or drinks from someone else if your server is busy, don’t. Ordering from someone else could complicate things when it’s time to handle your bill. Please wait for your server to return to check on you. You can also calmly signal to them as they pass by you. If your server is busy, ask another server to send yours over.
Stacking plates at the end of the meal: Although you might think stacking them ahead of the table being cleared is helpful, avoid doing it. Your busser might become worried that the piles of messy plates with leftover food or used napkins could easily topple over, creating a bigger mess. Also, if you have an accident with food or drink being spilt, don’t create a scene by trying to grab napkins to clean it up. Apologise and allow the restaurant staff to clean it up.
Constantly cutting off your server: It might not seem like a big deal to interrupt your server, especially if you’ve been to the restaurant many times. However, when a server first approaches your table, they typically have crucial details to share. Allow them to introduce themselves and provide relevant information about what you should expect while dining at the restaurant before you interrupt to ask questions.
Being uncertain about your order: Decide what you want to eat before placing your order. Some items are marinated or premixed, so there might be less room for substitutions. Remember to share any allergies early so the server and kitchen staff know. Making several changes to your order can create confusion and result in your meal taking longer to get to you. Most restaurants try to accommodate some changes. However, adding or subtracting prices based on requested changes might not guarantee a discount, even if you receive less food than the original order advertised.
Touching your server: Although your server may appreciate compliments and tips, please avoid touching them. Even if you intend to get their attention or be friendly, touching them can be distracting and creepy, especially if you inadvertently touch them inappropriately. Also, be mindful of some of the terms you use to get their attention. Words like “honey,” “gorgeous,” “handsome,” or “sexy” might seem endearing but can appear condescending and make your server uncomfortable.
Asking for separate cheques at the end of the meal: If you are dining with a medium or large group, ensure that you decide how to handle the bill before people order their meals. Discussing the bill with your group sets expectations and minimises the possibility of people arguing over who should pay and what amounts when the bill arrives. Your server will also have a better idea of how to keep everyone's order straight, making processing the bill easier so they spend less time with the often-limited POS terminals.
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Sources: Taste of Home, BuzzFeed, Finance Buzz, The Daily Meal, Business Insider, and Delish.