Eight Things to Avoid Doing on A First Date

If you are newly single or have been single for a while but not dating, you might be nervous about what to expect on a first date. First dates can be awkward if you or the person you are dating plan to evaluate attraction or focus heavily on whether the other could become a potential partner. We have a few suggestions on what to avoid doing to make your first date smoother.

What to avoid on your first date

Don’t arrive late: Being late for a first date can create the impression that you might have a busy schedule or don’t respect time. For some, it takes courage to go on a first date, so if you must be unavoidably late, let your date know immediately.

Avoid talking about your sexual history: Talking about sex on a first date is considered a red flag for most people. Even if you are comfortable talking about your sexual history, your date might prefer not to share their own experiences. If physical intimacy is crucial for you, mention it, but don’t push boundaries if your date expresses discomfort.

Don’t vent about your ex: Talking excessively about your ex on the first date could indicate that you have unresolved feelings. It can be a turn-off, causing the other person to lose interest and ruin the date. If you plan on dating after a challenging relationship ends or still feel attached to your ex, wait until you are ready before going on a first date.

Avoid talking about yourself too much: Talking excessively about yourself or your accomplishments on the first date can create the impression that you are egotistical. You are there to get to know the other person, so be present and actively listen to them. Allow the conversation to flow and show interest in their perspectives.

Don’t get drunk: Even if you are having a great time, avoid having too much alcohol or getting drunk. Alcohol can impair judgment, causing you to overshare, exercise poor emotional intelligence, and a lack of awareness. Getting drunk can potentially embarrass you and your date. Know your limit.

Avoid repeatedly using your phone: Going on a date suggests you want to get to know someone, so make time to be present. Constantly checking your phone can make your date assume that you are bored or disinterested in them. Mute or put your phone on vibrate and keep it off the table so you won’t be tempted to keep reaching for it.  

Don’t disrespect the person assisting you: If you are at a restaurant or using a service and something goes wrong, be polite to the person assisting you. Avoid being critical or too authoritative when talking to servers or service staff. Your date might find it unattractive and rude. Accidents happen, and everyone gets distracted sometimes.

Don’t ask too many questions: Asking many questions can make it seem like an interrogation, creating discomfort for the other person. Your date is supposed to be fun. Allow things to flow organically, and avoid asking intrusive questions, especially about your date’s past relationships.

Lastly, going on a first date is an opportunity to get to know someone. Enjoy the moments, don’t take yourself too seriously, and have fun! You can use Find Yello to search for restaurants, museums, parks, and other businesses ideal for a date.

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Sources: Break the Cycle, Slow Dating, Verywell Mind, and Gentleman’s Journal.