Co-parenting allows each parent to play an active role in their child’s upbringing despite being separated. Although shared parenting has unique challenges, it can be beneficial, especially to children. While co-parenting, children may split their time between parents, so you must work together to create stability. We have some tips that might help.

Why is co-parenting important?

Co-parenting or shared parenting allows parents to remain active in their child’s life. Parents work together, enabling children to maintain close relationships with each parent. A healthy co-parenting arrangement reminds children they are loved despite the changes in their parents’ relationship.

Tips to successfully co-parent with your ex-partner.

Work on healing past hurt.

Relationships that end contentiously can impact co-parenting arrangements. Both parents must collaborate, which makes individual healing crucial. Some people might need professional advice to help resolve past hurt so they can develop a new relationship with the other parent. A therapist or psychologist can help with processing painful experiences.

Work on effective communication.

Having effective communication regarding your child’s needs is essential. Use different ways to talk to your child’s other parent, such as in-person conversation, a call, text, or email. Remain focused on your child, be respectful, listen, make requests instead of demands, and show up to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.

Be consistent.

Although each parent may have different parenting styles, children need consistency and structure with discipline, rules, expectations, boundaries, rewards, and schedules. A reliable framework can help children manage their emotions or behaviour. Make significant decisions together and avoid the ‘favourite parent’ trap.

Ask for help.

Talking to an ex after a bitter separation can be challenging, but communication is crucial for co-parenting. It is essential to remain respectful, compromise, let go of the small things, and keep talking even if you disagree. Ask family members, friends, or a therapist for help or advice with reducing conflict and managing conversations.

Prepare for change.

As your children get older, your co-parenting relationship will evolve. So, keep open communication and an open mind with your ex about changes in how you parent together. Some changes might involve your child meeting your ex’s new partner, expenses, or schedules (yours or the child’s). Remain child-focused and avoid personal conflicts.

Be patient with the other parent.

It could take a while for your co-parent to adjust to childcare responsibilities, especially if you were the primary caregiver before separating. Focus on the positive and keep each other updated on your child’s schedule. Be optimistic about the time spent with the other parent and encourage them to have a healthy relationship.  

Be kind.

Being kind to each other benefits everyone, especially in emergencies. Sometimes, one parent has challenges, and the other may need to step in. Your children observe your interactions even when you think they aren’t. So, it helps to show each other understanding and cooperation to help them remain grounded and supported.

Successful co-parenting involves prioritising children’s well-being. Use Find Yello to find a therapist or psychiatrist if you or your children need help with processing the impact of separating.

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Sources: BBC, Oprah, Raising Children Network, and Help Guide.