We all need a bit of help at times when we encounter problems in our relationships. Many couples tend to rely on advice from close family members and friends. 

At times, the advice received can be helpful and empowering. Conversely, advice can also be regurgitated myths that could potentially cause more damage. 

We are examining a few relationships myths and why you should stop believing them now. 

Myth: Having a child will fix problems in your relationship. 

Food for thought: Planning a family is a desire that many couples share. However, bringing a child into a relationship that is tumultuous could create bigger problems. It helps to have a heart to heart with your partner to actively explore what’s causing the issues. If you have difficulty with objectively identifying the problems, it is wise to seek counselling. 

Myth: If you need therapy, it’s not going to work. 

Food for thought: One of the goals of couple’s therapy is to look at ways to enhance relationships. It can create a safe place for both parties to share their concerns about the relationship, with a professional, who can be objective and provide guidance. Therapists use strategies and activities that encourage couples to focus on better communication, cooperation and reconnecting with each other. In a nutshell, therapy is more likely to save your relationship than end it. 

Myth: Happy couples don’t have disagreements. 

Food for thought: Disagreements are a natural part of every relationship (intimate and platonic). Having disagreements with your partner is not an indicator that you are unhappy with your entire relationship. Disagreements can be healthy when the argument focuses on the problem. Maintaining diplomacy, respect and valuing each other’s input should be optimal. A disagreement can be an opportunity to better understand how the other person feels and to look for solutions. However, if disagreements lead to verbal and physical abuse, you may need to make changes. 

Myth: Being overly possessive is a sign of love. 

Food for thought: Some romantic relationships can be intense. The signs of an overly possessive partner are usually present early in a relationship but can be misinterpreted as love. Some of the signs include jealous, insecure and controlling actions that can lead to psychological, verbal and physical abuse. When a relationship is abusive, it has become toxic and lacking in love. There is a thin line between feeling loved and being controlled.  

Myth: All men cheat. 

Food for thought: Our cultural orientation has propagated, via the media and entertainment, the idea that all men are cheaters. This is not necessarily true for all men. Women are also unfaithful in relationships. The challenge is that our culture expects this of men more than it does from women.  Be aware of the expectations that you bring to your relationship. If a previous relationship ended because of infidelity, you may inadvertently bring the residual effects of that relationship into a new relationship even if your partner has not shown signs of being unfaithful. If your partner makes you feel insecure in your relationship, address it. Be open and honest with each other.  

Finally, relationships require a lot of love, understanding, communication and maturity. Get to know your partner. Build together and allow yourselves to make (some) mistakes and learn from them.  

We hope that by sharing these myths, we have provided a few useful suggestions on how you can make your relationships work. Each relationship is different. If you need help with the issues that you experience, couple’s therapy is a great option! 

Sources: Psychology Today, The Gottman Institute, Psych Central and Every Day Health.