Life and career coach Evelina Merrone shared her expertise and experience during an Instagram live with Yello on 6 August.

Speaking on the topic, ‘How to use the COVID-19 crisis for personal growth’, Evelina offered practical advice on various areas including how to invest in your health, happiness and relationships, along with reinventing yourself for the post-COVID-19 world.

You can watch the entire interview with Evelina on the Yello Solutions IG page. We’ve also summarised some of the key points from the discussion in this article.

Q. Why do you think a crisis, like what’s going on now, is the right time for people to reassess their lives and careers?

A. I have been using the lockdown to do some coaching sessions in the form of brainstorming, and I was asking people “what can you learn from this situation?” and “how can you use this time to thrive instead of just surviving, and get through this even better than you were before?”

I really think that when we face challenges and crises, this big, we have two options. We can let fears and anxieties overwhelm us and take us to a very dark place, or we can see it as an opportunity to grow personally so we can deal with the crisis even more efficiently. If we become stronger, we’ll gain the tools we need to face any other kind of crisis or problem in the future.

This is human history. Beautiful things happen, and awful things happen, and it’s all part of evolution and life. There are lots of people in moments of crisis who build successful businesses or reinvent themselves. So, why not use this crisis as an opportunity to grow?

I know it might sound offensive to some people because there are a lot of people suffering, people who have lost their jobs and incomes, and I don’t want to diminish the gravity of the situation.

But let’s start with ourselves. What can we do? How can we reinvent ourselves to thrive even in moments of difficulty?

Q. Let’s talk about people who have lost their job during this crisis. What advice would you give them in terms of how they can use the skills they’ve got, or get the skills they want, to follow their passion?

A. First of all, I would ask them to think this through. Was that job really what you are passionate about, or was it just a way to make money at the end of the month? So, why not see this as an opportunity to finally find your purpose in life.

What are your talents and skills? How can you improve your skills? What kind of resources do you need to get a job you’re really happy about? A job that is about fulfilment and not just money.

I really believe that the plan has to start from investing time in yourself because everything begins with us. We cannot delegate our happiness to something else. We cannot keep complaining about situations. There has to come a time when we take responsibility for our actions, and choices, and find a way to become a better version of ourselves.

I’d like to share five ways we can use to invest time in ourselves.

Firstly, invest in your health. I really believe that this is the building block for everything because to face any type of crisis or problem we really need to be physically strong. We need to have energy. The real point here is to find your motivation from within. Start thinking about what is blocking you from changing some habits.

We all know that to be healthier, we should eat healthier. Find your balance. If you want to have a pizza or a portion of fries every once in a while, why not, but try to balance it with something healthier.

What I’ve found useful for me is a morning ritual where I take time to connect to myself. So, that includes some stretching, yoga, meditation, a smoothie with coconut water and fresh local fruits!

Sleep is also very important. If you’re struggling with it, there are a lot of tools, like meditation, which can help you to empty your mind. Go on YouTube, and you’ll find free, guided meditations or just simple breathing exercises. Close your eyes, inhale and exhale, and that really calms your mind.

As the ancients would say “Mens sana in corpore sano” (a sound mind, in a sound body) which is true, because once your body is healthy then your mind will be healthier, and everything will be clearer.

Secondly, invest time in your expertise. Maybe now is the right time to invest in learning or improving your skills. There are a lot of free courses online. Maybe you can improve your technical skills now everything is shifting to digital products, learn a new language, manage your time in a more efficiently, or learn how to be more productive or creative.

Some people say all these things need time, but maybe you can also use this crisis to review your schedule.

How are you investing your time? What are your priorities? Are you doing things which add value to your life? Because if you’re spending the majority of your time on Facebook, checking the news and getting depressed, it’s not adding value.

We should focus on the skills we need to improve our business or improve what we really want to do.

The third point is, invest in your happiness. Happiness to me is a constant dynamic flow. We cannot be happy every day at the same level. But happiness should really be a daily commitment. And we should understand that we cannot delegate our happiness to external events or just when we can buy that house or that car, or date that girl or boy. You have to be happy within.

You have to find that source of joy and happiness inside of you.

And a lot of research from the field of positive psychology also shows that being happier also means being healthier. Why? Because fear and anxiety make our immune system weaker. When we are happy, everything flows, and we feel fulfilled.

Being happy is also important in our decision-making process to help us think clearer. Your mindset is everything. If we develop a winning mindset that’ll help us a lot, especially during a crisis.

Fourthly, invest in relationships. We all witnessed at this time the power of community. Human beings are social animals. We all need relationships and connections. So, spend some time reviewing and looking at your relationships. Tell your loved ones how much you care about them.

If there are relationships which need healing, or conversations which you always avoided, maybe now is the time to face that problem and find the solution. Approach it from a different perspective without judgement or resentment.

And if we have some toxic relationships, which are not bringing any value to our lives, it may be time to say goodbye. Sometimes people enter our lives and stay forever, and sometimes they stay for a limited period.

The first relationship we should think about is the one we have with ourselves. I am a huge fan of self-love, and I always disagree with people who say self-love is selfish. It’s the beginning of everything.

If you appreciate yourself, if you are proud of what you are doing and celebrate your successes, if you know exactly what you want, then you’ll also be able to help other people. So, it’s about finding your balance and harmony.

If you feel lacking in anything, you will always try to find someone that will complete you, or fill that lack, and it won’t work.

The final point is investing time in your financial wellbeing. This could be exploring the option of possible investments or as simple as checking your financial situation.

Do you know how much money you’re spending every month? Do you know where your money is going? Or are there some expenses you can minimise or cut? Maybe you can talk to your bank and renegotiate your loans or your mortgage to get better rates.

Once you know what your exact financial situation looks like, you can start budgeting and planning.

Q. Let’s talk about developing a ‘winning mindset’. Are there any tools or methods you can recommend for that?

A. Well, consider first of all that change is scary all of the time for many reasons.

Physiologically our brain is made to protect us, so anytime we try to do something outside of our comfort zone, some kind of bell will ring, because the brain works in economy. The brain likes automatic things. But when you do something new, you stimulate new parts of the brain, and it needs a lot of energy, so we get scared. It’s not easy. It’s a process and a journey.

Firstly, you need to understand what you really want to achieve. If you want to move from A to B, then it’s a matter of establishing goals, steps, plans and strategies.

A winning mindset doesn’t come easily or out of the blue. It takes work. In my opinion, the easiest way to do it is by little steps; otherwise, you’ll feel overwhelmed and scared.

Everything starts with the three A’s.

Awareness – you cannot change things that you are not aware of. We have to bring our fears to a conscious level. Are they really fears? Or are they something we are holding on to in our minds because of past events and traumas? What are your fears telling you? Label them, give them a name, and try to understand what the trigger is for those fears.

Acceptance – there are certain things we have to accept like diseases, death, crises. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do to control them. I’ve learned a beautiful formula which is E+R=O. Events plus responses equals outcomes.

We cannot change events, but we can change our response. Responses are not a reaction. Reactions are automatic, but once you can detach yourself from your feelings, and label them, then you can see yourself more clearly and analyse and understand what’s going on. A response is something you deliberately choose to do. Then the outcome will be the result.

Action – you know they say the distance between your dreams and reality is action. Successful people really commit to something, focus on what they want, and then they act. It can be a little step every day. One little step at a time. Listen to your body. Take the time to explore and then establish a plan.

This brings me to the difference between a wish list and goals. A goal is a dream with a leg, which means there are certain criteria to establishing a goal, especially in these uncertain moments. A goal has to be S.M.A.R.T. that is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timebound (i.e. has a deadline).

Q. And some people who’ve recently lost their job might not know the best way to market themselves right now, especially if they’ve been employed with a company for a while. What advice would you give to someone in that position?

A. It has never been easy, but especially right now, it is even more difficult. I would say that you need to find something that makes you unique and show a company why they should choose you instead of someone else.

So, we come back to investing time in your skills and expertise. Right now, there are a lot of companies who have had to reinvent themselves, so it’s about understanding what the market needs right now. What is your expertise? What value can you bring? Is there any way for you to reinvent yourself?

You might be a mechanic in a small town, and someone else is a mechanic in Formula 1, what is the difference? These people have developed skills and expertise and marketed themselves differently. It’s about discipline. Maybe when their friends were out partying, they were home studying, practicing or training and improving their skills.

I don’t want to diminish the gravity of the situation because in the Caribbean right now, without tourists, if you’re working in a hotel, it’s difficult.

But maybe a chef in a hotel can do some training courses or cooking courses online until the hotel reopens, or cook for people in their houses, or start a farm and sell fruit and vegetables.

It’s really a matter of using your skills and reinventing yourself. I know it’s not easy, but if we never try, we’ll be stuck, and we’ll feel depressed and have negative thoughts which will bring negative emotions and negative behaviours.

It’s not easy for everyone. We’re all in the same boat.

Q. Let’s talk about investing in your financial wellbeing. What tips and advice do you have for people who are struggling to budget right now, especially if they’ve had a pay cut or lost their job?

A. It’s really a matter of numbers. We need to understand what we can cut, minimise or get rid of. Maybe there’s something you can sell? Maybe you can get better conditions from your bank? Find a financial advisor and get some advice.

It’s about budgeting within the possibilities you have right now. So maybe this situation will teach us to save money in a different way in the future.

You need to make an honest assessment of your financial situation right now and understand your priorities. What is really vital? But let’s see it as a temporary situation, everything will come back.

I know it’s scary right now because we don’t know when it’ll end but if there’s anything you can do in the meantime to increase your income, to reinvent yourself or do something else, even if it’s in a totally different field, just try. Explore options and give yourself the chance to try something new.

What’s the worse that can happen? Maybe this is just a lesson to be learned.

Most of our fears are related to some past experience or trauma and the way we are used to thinking about failure. But if you talk to those fears and ask them what they are trying to tell you, they can even become your friend.

It’s nice when we integrate each part of our personality. There are parts of ourselves that we like, and parts we don’t like, but we can’t just get rid of them. Even with fear, you must think ‘what purpose is this serving?’ and be aware of it.

Q. And in terms of finding a balance and making time for yourself and being nice to yourself – what would you say to someone who maybe struggles with finding time for a morning self-care ritual?

A. Everyone has to find their own space and time.

For me, it works better in the morning because I find the way we start our day impacts the whole day. If we wake up and start thinking about all that we have to do etc, our energy and vibration will be so low, and we won’t attract anything good.

But if it works for you in the afternoon, or the evening before you go to bed, just find 15-20 minutes to relax. And you have to find your own way to relax. It could be meditation, breathing, stretching, exercising, or listening to music. Choose whatever makes you feel happy.

Dedicate some time for yourself, even just observing your thoughts, try to take some distance and see if those thoughts are constructive or something old that you need to get rid of.

You really have to listen to your body to understand what you need. And you really need to find your own motivation to feel that voice inside that will say ‘from tomorrow things will change’.

For me, it comes naturally. I started with a few things and then added to it. But don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t want to, find whatever resonates with you.

It’s not about the goal itself; it’s more about who we become in the process of achieving that goal because it’s a journey. Maybe we will never achieve it, but the point is more about who you are becoming and evolving into as a person.

Q. And with relationships, can you explain how can we identify toxic relationships, and other one’s that are no good for us?

A. Well, does it make you happy? Is it a source of pleasure or just worry? Do you feel that your energy levels are lifted when you are with this person or are they sucking your energy?

Is this something you don’t want to deal with because you’re afraid of the pain? Are you smiling when you think about this person? Or are you thinking ‘I really don’t want to spend time with him / her’?

There may come a point when you have to have a conversation, and it doesn’t have to be a fight. A conversation free of judgement and resentment but be honest. Simply say that you realise the relationship is not adding to your life.

Follow your gut and follow your heart.

We’re always trying to find a logical explanation for everything, but we forget that we are alive not because we think rationally, but because there is a higher intelligence which keeps our heart beating, breathing, and digesting food!

Most of the decisions we make don’t come from the rational mind; they come from our unconscious and what we really feel. So, be brave enough to follow that path. Don’t be hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, but what have you learned from them?

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You can contact Evelina Merrone via Facebook or email [email protected].

Follow @yellosolutions on Instagram for details on our next IG live event.