20 Stages of the Jamaican Summer Heat
by Stephanie Koathes Jul 15, 2019
Summer is brutal, and it’s getting hotter year after year. As we all struggle through the blistering heat and draining humidity, let’s look at 20 stages of Jamaican summer heat you may recognise.
We hope this list at least makes you chuckle while you’re sweating!
1. Hopefully, one fan will be enough.
2. It’s not. Buys a second fan.
3. Installs a ceiling fan and runs both standing fans at the same time.
4. Frequently sticks head in the fridge to cool off.
5. No longer needs hot water to bathe.
6. Wonders if it’s possible to sweat while bathing.
7. Well, now there’s no water because it hasn’t rained since May. Water from the tank feels like it’s from a kettle.
8. Starts to believe that we’re no longer on Earth but have somehow landed on the sun.
9. No longer wears clothes around the house.
10. Gets bitten everywhere by mosquitoes when not wearing clothes.
11. Refuses to go outside unless absolutely necessary.
12. Stays at work late just for the air conditioning. Considers putting an inflatable bed in a corner and never going home.
13. Never sweat this much in life.
14. Tries to stay really still so as not to sweat. Okay, that didn’t work.
15. Goes to a river or pool whenever possible.
16. Googles “countries with the lowest average summer temperature”. Prepares to sell all possessions for a visa to move there.
17. Gives in, goes into debt and buys an AC.
18. Sits in the dark with a flashlight running the AC hoping the light bill won’t be too bad.
19. Gets light bill and cries.
20. Counts down the days till Christmas breeze starts to blow.