Romance Tips to Help Spice Up Long-Term Relationships
by Carolyn Lee Jul 4, 2022
You’ve been with your partner for a while. Over time, you’ve gotten to know each other and developed routines you enjoy. For some, your patterns have caused you to become comfortable, and the excitement may have diminished.
If you’re ready to shake things up a bit, we’ve got a few ideas you can use to spice up your relationship!
Remember why you fell in love.
What were some things that attracted you to your partner? Talk about it together and revisit the experience, if possible. Write down the activities that made you happy or excited to be with each other. You can also return to some of the places you had fun or made significant commitments to each other.
Be demonstrative with your love. Plan and go on dates, role play, and treat each other to unexpected gifts outside of special days (anniversary, birthday, etc.). You can create a morning ritual with your partner that allows you to spend a few moments together before the workday starts or check on each other during the day.
Be present with each other.
When we’ve spent quality time with others, we understand their routines and know some of their quirks well. So, it can be easy to tune a partner out or become distracted by our own experiences. Listen to what is said, observe their body language, and the emotions present. Ask questions that indicate that you care about what they share with you. Being mindful and present shows them they are still valued.
Appreciate your partner.
Your long-term relationship shows you’re invested in being with each other. You’ve gotten past the honeymoon phase and have bonded over different challenges. Although your partner knows you care, it helps to show you’re grateful for them being in your life. While your partner is expected to do nice things for you, their efforts should not go unnoticed or unappreciated. Be vocal with your gratitude, reciprocate kindness, and show up for important moments.
Try new activities as a couple.
Some routines can cause detachment, while others allow us to bond with our partners. Couples will experience periods where they need space from each other. However, taking too much time away from being together can cause problems. Working out together, dance classes, ziplining, romantic games, and other physical activities are great for injecting adventure and fun into long-term relationships. Be open-minded and ready to participate, so your partner can also feel comfortable.
Seriously make time for each other.
Some couples have schedules that focus heavily on taking care of the children, or individual careers, which are significant responsibilities. So, it helps to be intentional when planning to carve out time with each other. Taking a trip (couple’s getaway) without the children is an excellent way to reconnect. If a trip isn’t possible, try a night out or check into a hotel for the night.
Introduce some dynamism into your intimate interactions.
Sexual intimacy helps couples bond and can spice up the relationship. Talk about your fantasies and be non-judgmental. Create a list of intimate moments you want to enjoy together, like a long bath, cuddling, flirting, and touching each other intimately. Kissing, holding hands, lying naked, and exploring each other’s sexual triggers can create anticipation that makes fantastic lovemaking. Conversely, if you can handle it, avoid sexual intercourse for a week – the tension will make it worthwhile.
Love demands action.
Don’t just say, “I love you,”; let your activities support what you say. Use your partner’s love language to show how much you love and value them. So, if your partner’s love language is “acts of service,” helping with chores, giving a massage, facial, or foot rub are always appreciated. Make it part of your weekly routine to select and treat your partner to a few things that will excite them.
Keeping romance alive requires work, but it can be fun, entertaining, and a great way to reconnect with each other. Ultimately, you know what will and how to delight your partner. We hope these tips help.
If your relationship has hit rock bottom, a counsellor or therapist can help. Check our Find Yello listings for therapists, counsellors, gyms, hotels, and related businesses with the services your need to spice things up. Good luck!