Our fathers are often our source of wisdom, unconditional love and fun.  

We enjoy their practical approach to challenges, their ability to magically fund our many adventures, and how they make us feel safe. 

Conversely, some of us tend to avoid asking our fathers challenging questions about family, love, and relationships. This may be due in part to their somewhat no-nonsense approach to situations. 

Our fathers often want us to ask these questions. They look forward to teaching us and imparting the wisdom that will allow us to grow. 

We are challenging you to get out of your comfort zone this Father’s Day. Select one or more of the topics below and discuss them with your father. We’ve added a few tips that should allow for even more understanding of why the questions are important.  

 

How do you feel about being a dad? Why do you feel this way? 

Tip: Ease into the conversation. Start by sharing an appreciation for something that your father did. This question will allow you to have an idea of what your father’s journey to fatherhood has been like. It could also inform why he reacts the way he does to some situations concerning you. 

 

What are you most proud of and why? 

Tip: This reflects a genuine interest in your father’s accomplishments. It’s a great question to ask once you are comfortable hearing about a few things that worked out great as well as those that didn’t. It could inform why he may appear to be overly protective or very vocal about some things. 

 

What were some hardships that you faced when you were a child? How did you overcome them? 

Tip: If you’ve been curious about family history, this is a useful question to ask. You will uncover some of the reasons for the decisions that your father makes. You may also learn about friends, relatives and experiences that influenced his growth. 

 

What was your father like? Share some of the lessons that you learnt from him. 

Tip: This is another question that involves some history. Whether your grandfather is around or not, this is a great way to find out what your father’s childhood was like. It may allow you to understand the relationship he had with his father, and how that translates to your father’s relationship with you. 

 

What were some of the goals that you had when you were younger? Which ones have you accomplished? 

Tip: This ties into the goals that your father has for you as well. His responses may help you to understand his approach to life and to your growth and development. It may also give insight into how you can approach similar goals going forward. 

 

Share some of the things that changed for you when you became a father. How did you deal with some of the changes? 

Tip: This is an excellent opportunity to learn what your father was like before he became a dad. His answers will give you an idea of his problem-solving skills and his ability to deal with change. It may also help you to better understand his relationship with your mother. 

 

What goal are you most eager to see me accomplish? Why is it so important to you? 

Tip: We’ve all experienced our parents sharing their hopes for us. This question is designed to get a direct response to why they want the things that they do. It opens the door for you to share your own goals and to ask for guidance.  

 

The idea is to have a meaningful conversation with your father that could help you to understand each other better. Remember to be open, objective and willing to learn more! 

 

Sources: Huff Post, Love to Know, Greater Good and Fatherhood.